The Luxuries In Life

I got to thinking the other day after I went out to dinner with my good friend Katie, who has a cutie of her own, about what we consider to be a "luxury" these days. She said something to me that really spoke the truth. She said, "He doesn't really understand the luxury of getting into the car and driving somewhere without a baby in the backseat." Amen, Katie. Amen! Let me start by saying that there is no complaining going on here from either one of us. I think at the end of our conversation we were at a mutual agreement that life is 110% better with babies in it. No doubt.

So, let me just paint a little picture of a day in the life of Moi with Miss Ava in tow. My examples will be brief with a little comparing and contrasting along the way.

Shower Time
Pre Ava: Whenever I damn well pleased.
Post Ava: When she's napping. But I have to wait until she's asleep in order to ensure she doesn't have difficulty actually falling asleep and have a meltdown that I'm sure is often heard in space. I need to be quick and quiet because that 1.5 hour nap could easily become a 45 minute nap and once she's up...she's UP! It's a race to see who will be "done" first. I often lose...

Driving...Anywhere!
Pre Ava: Who cares about traffic? Who cares if I go the long way? Who cares if the windows are down?
Post Ava: I must make sure I'm never out in rush hour. My bag of "car toys" must be ready and full so I can quickly pass her back toy after toy after toy to keep her content while we're in route. The windows should be up so she isn't blinded by the wind and I have to maintain a constant cool temp in the car so she doesn't sweat herself into a tizzy. All trips must be short and I must avoid stoplights and heavy traffic areas. Unsuspected stand stills aren't well received. When all else fails, we enjoy a sing along of her favorite songs.

Shopping
Pre Ava: Browsing and literally shopping until I drop.
Post Ava: It's in my best interest to have a route planned out in the mall and be as quick as possible. The stroller is only entertaining for so long. Trying things on? Ummm, I don't have the option. The fitting room is where it gets ugly.

Grocery Store
Pre Ava: Well, the grocery store pre Ava was the pits, isn't it always?
Post Ava: I must have lots of sani wipes to de-germ the nastiness that is a shopping cart. Who knows what was in the seat before Ava got there. She likes to gnaw on the handle and it's just gross. Again, timing is just key. No crowds or long lines allowed. I'd bring in the toy bag but she'd much rather "play" with all the food I'm trying to get home in once piece.

Toy Stores
Pre Ava: What's a "toy store"?
Post Ava: TOYS ARE EVERYWHERE!!! It doesn't have to be a store specific to toys. As soon as that girl spots the "toy section" she "ooohhhhhs and aaaaahhhhhs" herself silly. I did make the mistake once of letting her out of the stroller to get closed and it was a horrible idea. She wanted it all on the floor and when I pulled her away she had the tantrum of ALL tantrums.

Play Time
Pre Ava: Play time wasn't the G-rated play time it is now. It was more like happy hour or pub crawls.
Post Ava: Toys must be entertaining...for hours on end. Lights! Sounds! Movement! A billion pieces! Of course now all I see it sharp coffee table edges and glass cabinet doors by the stone fireplace. With a very mobile Ava it's bound to get crazy. I never stop moving... Never

Phone Conversations
Pre Ava: Eh, wasn't a big fan before Ava either.
Post Ava: None existent. Naps are meant for showers and chores...and Ava's awake time is too demanding of my attention.

Computer Time
Pre Ava: Whenevs....
Post Ava: Oh ya know, around 10 pm when I finally sit down at night. Exhausted.

Mommy and Daddy Time
Per Ava: Well considering Curt's work schedule it has always been crazy...
Post Ava: Hmmm, we've had one date in the past 3 months and two dates in the past six. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Bed Time
Pre Ava: Whenever I felt tired enough to lie down and take on my 8 hours in peace.
Post Ava: Even though many people say, "You should sleep when she sleeps". Funny. If I did that I would ZERO time to myself all day everyday. When Ava goes to bed it's "Me" time. I enjoy it. Sure, sometimes I enjoy it until 11 or midnight, but it's my time and I need it. Of course sometimes I do get an early rise out of Ava and the midnight bed time doesn't seem like such a great idea when she's up at 6. Yes. All things I need to take into consideration...

What's the point? No, people. I'm not ungrateful. No, I'm not complaining. No, I'm not making excuses. I actually miss her more than anything in the world when we're apart. Whether I'm running to the store by myself and I'm gone for an hour or if I'm off to spend a day by myself while she is with her Grandma, I always get so excited to come home and see what's she been up to. I miss her when ever we're apart. She's a part of me and my life is forever changed because of it. Yes, I'm always tired and never get enough sleep. Yes, what I once considered a luxury (new bags! cashmere sweaters! sleep! quiet!) are but a far and distant memory. But this is life. Life changes. I'm changing with it.

I still have bad days and Curt is still far away. He's so understanding of me. Ava and I are so fortunate to have him in our lives.

I still wonder what lies ahead...

I still get nervous and anxious about the unknown...

What I do know is I have the most awesome baby girl in the whole world and a hubby that supports us in every aspect of the word.

We're all still learning so much about each other along the way.

I'm a lot stronger than I thought I could ever be.