Four Months Later...

Here we go!  Well, 4 months have passed and life here has been, well, busy.  I still work 7 days a week: 5 in the classroom, and then 2 days at home preparing for those coming 5 in the classroom.  I love being there, I really do.  It's just so hard doing it with a husband who's job calls for him to work more than I do and most often in other time zones.  So, it is what it is.  I will leave the job in the classroom for the job inside the home.  I'll probably go back to school and work towards something even better that I can do sometime in the future.  Like, when Ava's in Kindergarten, kind of future.

I've managed to get really excited for an upcoming move, although we're not sure where we're headed yet.  I have a gut feeling you'll be hearing me talk of high heat and the west here soon enough.  But, Curt has yet to fill out a dream sheet so for now, we just wait.

We are still hoping to make this family of three a family of four, and believe it or not, we were so very close.  Back in January, I found out I was pregnant!  We were thrilled that after months of trying with no success before the deployment it happened so quickly when he returned.  It felt so natural because little Miss Ava was also a post deployment baby.  We felt like God had a plan for us and that was why we waited so long.  We shared the news with family and the closest of friends.  However, about 2 weeks in to the pregnancy, things started happening that, well, shouldn't have been happening.  Those things, well, they got worse.  When all was said and done, we had 3 emergency ultrasounds and on the 11th week, our sweet #4 was without a heartbeat.  In true military wife style, I took the news alone while Curt was on the west coast for work.  My mom, thankfully, was here as we knew that the way things were progressing could take a turn for the worse and I certainly didn't want to be alone if that were to happen.  I had a D&C to help close this chapter in my life and was told by my doctor that we should wait until we were all physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared to try again.  And so, we wait...

I pray to God that we never, ever have to go through something like that again.  It was 11 long weeks of living in fear and hope at the same time.  I felt so helpless as I tried to make a cozy home for this little life inside of me.  I know that He has plans for me, for us, and for our family.

As I look optimistically to the future, I'm really excited to welcome a summer that has ample opportunity for this family to make their way up to Pennsylvania for as much time as we can, knowing that our time on the east coast is limited.  While North Carolina has been good to us in many ways, I feel like I never gave this assignment a chance.  I miss our close friends and while it goes without saying, I miss my family.  I ready to start over in a new town, in a new home, and hopefully with some friends that I love enough to call my family.

**While this news obviously isn't a secret to some, it's not something I chose to broadcast on FaceBook.  Thanks for sharing your comments here!  :)